When last we saw the Palermo Sisters, they’d re-entered the US (somewhat legally) after purloining Vatican artifacts, creating an all out international ruckus and attempting to reverse the Cannes Agreement with a romantic setting, a piano bar birthday date and a whole lot of alcohol. As Mildred beat down the lovebirds’ door, Gleason slid an unmarked set of replacement pages under the door. ::Fsssst!:: Operation Steele Chastity was reborn.
~~~We return you now to the current season ~~~~~~~~
Sleenky: I need character development. How can I get a recurring guest role on this blog? I know! I’ll lure the foa’d gals down here with my Southern hospitality and fifth job perks.
Sleezy: I really need to get out of this frozen Chicago burb. I think I’ll go to Iowa for business, San Diego for family and Nashville for NAR. That’s No Apparent Reason to the uninitiated.
Skeezy: Sun, sun & more sun. Los Angeles is so devoid of weather and country music. Where can I find some good fiddling and solid wind chill factor?
Sneezy: Time to visit the parents, Mr. and Mrs. Sneezy, without staying with them. How can I defray room costs?Foas: We need to get out more, spread our feathers, let our ropes down and multiply like crazy!
A plan was hatched...
Friday the 13th, March:
Having left her Jeep in the careful hands of the LAX malvados, Skeeziks took Sleenky’s bait, grabbed a St. Paddy’s foa and boarded a plane for Opryland. Elsewhere in the country, Auburn barreled down the Midwest counting used cows and singing “So when you're near me, Darling can't you hear me?, S.O.S” and Mickey baked (err, cut, separated and heated) cookies, made the obligatory parental visit and leisurely headed over to the airport to retrieve the sure-to-be-frozen Skeeziks from the 45 degree TN evening. Somehow, Auburn was the first to the hotel and was found in the giant Opryland lobby sipping moonshine spiked sweet tea.
When we last saw our famous pair of Holt and Steele, they were also disembarking the cruise ship with the ever interrupting Krebs reciting lines fed to her by one Michael Gleason who was being admonished in equal parts by NBC network wonks and irate fans. This led to a small misdirection where the duo escape to the frigid Midwest. But once again Krebs was hot on the trail. So Laura ended up in a small suitcase speeding down I-65 having to endure an off keyed karaoke sing-a-long to the Mamma Mia! soundtrack six times. Mr. Steele had called in when Sleezy and Laura were packing, sounding horribly sick while watching “Thirty Seconds over Tokyo”. Laura swore she heard a champagne cork pop in the background.
Upon arrival in Nashville, Laura decided to repair some of the auditory assault, by ditching the girls of four east wing of Opryland and then heading off to find out if Don Johnson was moonlighting as Elvis in some Second Ave dive.
As the Palermo Sisters slept off their drunken or sugared reunion, a single, purple foa stole silently out into the night to adorn the balcony railing.
