We exit the ship only to realize that we have 3 extra vouchers for the hop-on, hop-off Turista Bus. We walk 8 miles to the ticket office to exchange the vouchers for actual tickets. Our trip leader, El Padre (aka Il Padrino in Italy and Pimp Daddy in the US) was attempting to lure unsuspecting young, female backpackers with his signature phrase “hop-on me, hop-off me, I’ve got three.” Surprisingly, we got no takers. Fortunately our chief of marketing took over and managed to pass the tickets off for a tidy profit. (Las turistas stupidas! Ha ha ha!)
First stop was the La Sagrada Familia church. Construction began in 1882. However we did not enter as we wanted construction to be complete before we actually took the tour. Yes, it’s STILL under construction! We circled the block 5 times looking for los baños only to come back to my personal restaurant, Mickey D’s where we bought the world’s smallest Cokes in payment for using the facilities.
The architect Antoini Gaudi was a huge influence in Barcelona so we hopped off at Güell Park to visit a house where he lived for 20 years and to see the highlight of all Spain which we had believed to be the size of Godzilla and actually passed it by before it was pointed out to us. Turns out it is only about 10 feet long, thus causing our confusion. Here is a photo of the dragon in its natural habitat.
We hopped on and off the bus again as Skeez was experiencing an extreme reaction “green straw withdrawal” (that’s Starbuck’s for the uninitiated). We got in line for the bus again only to realize that drinks are contraband on the Turista Buses. Sleenky quickly said “stick it here” and tucked it up under Skeez’s shirt. We managed to get on board the bus with no problem and stayed on until we got to the Museum of Art where we exited to give Skeez time to finish her Frappuccino. We were rewarded with some gorgeous views of the city.
Hopping back on the bus we rode it back near the port and strolled along Las Ramblas where Skeez was able to appease her high-speed addiction at an internet café. (The internet on the ship is *supposedly* high-speed but….not really.) We stopped at a quaint little place called Hamburguesa del Rey for a quick bite to eat.
The day ended with Skeezy & Sleezy plotting creative ways to kill one another. Skeez mentioned leaving the clothesline strung across the shower as a means of garroting Sleezy and Sleezy was using nail polish fumes to trigger Skeez’s allergies. We understand that a frayed guy wire will be left by the hot tubs tomorrow night. Stay tuned to see which one gets a burial at sea and which one returns to the States.
