Since you asked so nicely Jillybean has created 2 videos to chronicle our weekend.
Day 1
Day 2
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Milwaukee Mia – Day 5: The Steele That Wouldn’t Die
Morning rolled around quickly. Too quickly. And Mrs. Babish needed a caffeine fix. Three cups of coffee and two 20 ounce bottles of Diet Mount and Dew later – and that we’re not exaggerating about, believe it or not – Mrs. Babish ran behind the van from the hotel in New Berlin to the train station in downtown Milwaukee just for the heck of it. She single-handedly unloaded the luggage (which contained two carry-ons, one “normal-sized” suitcase and one “holy crap, this weighs more than Xenos” bag) in record time. Joystick, also single-handedly and in record time, found Josh, the cute train employee she flirted with on the trip in. Jillybean and Xenos brought up the rear (no cracks, ladies) and marveled at Mrs. Babish’s strength and speed, and Joystick’s overactive libido. (Xenos was so proud!)
Alas, Joystick’s addiction to food kicked in and Josh was tossed aside like a cheap two-dollar watercolor. Off to find food…Preferably custard. After all, it wasn’t lunchtime yet. To the mall we went. Xenos tried to talk JB and Ms. Stick into trying a brat – traditional Milwaukee fare – but they would have none of it. They were bound and determined to have sushi. After scouring the food court, they came up empty-handed. Mrs. Babish suggested the Hooters down the street, but Xenos didn’t want to go there on her day off. So we went to the Milwaukee Public Market. They had everything Joystick wanted – custard and sushi – so instead, she ordered some Middle Eastern fare just to be difficult. Mrs. Babish, aware that she probably shouldn’t consume any more caffeine any time soon, ate a box of chocolate espressos.
By the time we were able to peel Mrs. Babish off of the ceiling, it was time to go back to the train station. Lots of hugs ensued before Josh finally told Joystick that his hour break was over and he had to get back to work. So we all said our final goodbyes and promised to do it again…SOON, Mildred…SOOOOOOON!!!
The end…Or is it?!
(Coming soon....videographic evidence...)
Alas, Joystick’s addiction to food kicked in and Josh was tossed aside like a cheap two-dollar watercolor. Off to find food…Preferably custard. After all, it wasn’t lunchtime yet. To the mall we went. Xenos tried to talk JB and Ms. Stick into trying a brat – traditional Milwaukee fare – but they would have none of it. They were bound and determined to have sushi. After scouring the food court, they came up empty-handed. Mrs. Babish suggested the Hooters down the street, but Xenos didn’t want to go there on her day off. So we went to the Milwaukee Public Market. They had everything Joystick wanted – custard and sushi – so instead, she ordered some Middle Eastern fare just to be difficult. Mrs. Babish, aware that she probably shouldn’t consume any more caffeine any time soon, ate a box of chocolate espressos.
By the time we were able to peel Mrs. Babish off of the ceiling, it was time to go back to the train station. Lots of hugs ensued before Josh finally told Joystick that his hour break was over and he had to get back to work. So we all said our final goodbyes and promised to do it again…SOON, Mildred…SOOOOOOON!!!
The end…Or is it?!
(Coming soon....videographic evidence...)
Monday, June 15, 2009
Milwaukee Mia - Day 4: “The Heist, Part Deux”
After sleeping in, we dressed in our black break-in clothes…and to blend in with the Pridefest leftovers, we added boa feathers and sequined tennis shoes. After taking advantage of our 2-for-1 free Piercing coupons (and it’s not what we thought at all!), we were gingerly chased, (Don’t ask where some Piercings went!) by Paul Blart – Mall Cop, who sent out an A...PB. “Take me now,” Xenos shrieked. A high-speed Segway - scooter chase ensued through the mall. Luckily, we lost him in Frederick’s of Hollywood!
To throw off the tracking dogs, we stopped in at Bath & Body Works to change our scents. We found a new product we highly recommend – “True Brosnan Blue Naked in the Buff Body Polish”. We bought a few jars. OK, all the jars. Several hours later, naked and happy…and very shiny…we remembered our plan. We surveilled a video store where Xenos spotted a freakin’ hot poster of Pierce Brosnan. After mopping what remained of Xenos into a bucket, we plotted. Oh-ho-ho, yeh-heh-hes!
While Joystick distracted Adam, the gay clerk, with discussion about the 17 times he saw "Mamma Mia!" last summer, Auburn, in a very Cary Grant-like move, scaled the store wall to purloin GMBC. Jillybean acted as Fred and provided the speedy getaway with Xenos clutching the purloined work of art.
Hearts racing we searched everywhere for a couch and a bottle of Champagne to celebrate. But we were very hungry and decided on a custard appetizer before Chicago-style deep dish pizza. Later while in the hotel lobby, we solicited potential mates for the missing members of our group, but alas he was married although he claimed his wife said he could have a girlfriend.
Fat, happy and all sugared up, we unrolled the poster to bask in the glorious aura of GMBC only to discover that the poster was “a man in a bowler hat”. Jillybean got so angry that she demanded to know “Where is that fellow?” Not quite as feisty as Rene Russo, but just as dramatic!
Once more tearful goodbyes were scheduled along with hugs, but Auburn instead hoisted Xenos and body slammed her onto Joystick’s bed, all the while fighting back tears and sniffing, “Skeez, we missed you!”
To throw off the tracking dogs, we stopped in at Bath & Body Works to change our scents. We found a new product we highly recommend – “True Brosnan Blue Naked in the Buff Body Polish”. We bought a few jars. OK, all the jars. Several hours later, naked and happy…and very shiny…we remembered our plan. We surveilled a video store where Xenos spotted a freakin’ hot poster of Pierce Brosnan. After mopping what remained of Xenos into a bucket, we plotted. Oh-ho-ho, yeh-heh-hes!
While Joystick distracted Adam, the gay clerk, with discussion about the 17 times he saw "Mamma Mia!" last summer, Auburn, in a very Cary Grant-like move, scaled the store wall to purloin GMBC. Jillybean acted as Fred and provided the speedy getaway with Xenos clutching the purloined work of art.
Hearts racing we searched everywhere for a couch and a bottle of Champagne to celebrate. But we were very hungry and decided on a custard appetizer before Chicago-style deep dish pizza. Later while in the hotel lobby, we solicited potential mates for the missing members of our group, but alas he was married although he claimed his wife said he could have a girlfriend.
Fat, happy and all sugared up, we unrolled the poster to bask in the glorious aura of GMBC only to discover that the poster was “a man in a bowler hat”. Jillybean got so angry that she demanded to know “Where is that fellow?” Not quite as feisty as Rene Russo, but just as dramatic!
Once more tearful goodbyes were scheduled along with hugs, but Auburn instead hoisted Xenos and body slammed her onto Joystick’s bed, all the while fighting back tears and sniffing, “Skeez, we missed you!”
Milwaukee Mia - Day 3: “Cheesecake vs. Beefcake: The Steele Cage Match”
Our first stop on Sunday was the Bayshore shopping area where several of us decided we needed ice cream BEFORE lunch. So we had some in honor of Flag Day. We made a perfunctory stop at the camera store and then to get Mrs. Babish a better disguise some new sunglasses, a wig and a fedora and we were all set. We took the scenic construction route over to Steel(e) Erectors, Inc., a division of Cranston 
Industries and a wholly (or should that be “Holt-ly”) owned subsidiary of GEM Productions, where we had fun with our photo op. Mr. Steele and Miss Holt enjoyed getting out of the car and seeing a bit of the area too. Once on the road again we made our way to Remington's River Inn, the preferred dining establishment of many Xenos & Auburn get-togethers, only to find it suspiciously closed. We assume the waitstaff was all at Pridefest but do not have confirmation at this time. The lab will get back to us with the results of the green Boa Feathers found at the door. So we took our obligatory photos and headed back to Bayshore. The plan was to go to Applebee's but as we approached the area, Joystick's food-ar began going off and the van shook uncontrollably. Xenos called the tail car and gained agreement for what Auburn understood to be Beefcake. We followed the signals to The Cheesecake Factory instead where we enjoyed a relaxing meal with their famous huge meal portions. A couple of us even found room for dessert!
Finally, we spent a little bit of time walking around the historic Third Ward section of town where we took more photos and watched Ms. Bean and Ms. Stick re-enact one of their favorite stunts. Video at eleven! Then it was time for Mickey to return home so she and Auburn hopped in the little silver bullet and headed back to Chicago. Fortunately there were no major traffic jams and her flight was even on time!
Now Mickey wonders what kind of mischief the others will get into without her there. There was some buzz about a theft and something about black break-in clothes....
Industries and a wholly (or should that be “Holt-ly”) owned subsidiary of GEM Productions, where we had fun with our photo op. Mr. Steele and Miss Holt enjoyed getting out of the car and seeing a bit of the area too. Once on the road again we made our way to Remington's River Inn, the preferred dining establishment of many Xenos & Auburn get-togethers, only to find it suspiciously closed. We assume the waitstaff was all at Pridefest but do not have confirmation at this time. The lab will get back to us with the results of the green Boa Feathers found at the door. So we took our obligatory photos and headed back to Bayshore. The plan was to go to Applebee's but as we approached the area, Joystick's food-ar began going off and the van shook uncontrollably. Xenos called the tail car and gained agreement for what Auburn understood to be Beefcake. We followed the signals to The Cheesecake Factory instead where we enjoyed a relaxing meal with their famous huge meal portions. A couple of us even found room for dessert!Finally, we spent a little bit of time walking around the historic Third Ward section of town where we took more photos and watched Ms. Bean and Ms. Stick re-enact one of their favorite stunts. Video at eleven! Then it was time for Mickey to return home so she and Auburn hopped in the little silver bullet and headed back to Chicago. Fortunately there were no major traffic jams and her flight was even on time!
Now Mickey wonders what kind of mischief the others will get into without her there. There was some buzz about a theft and something about black break-in clothes....
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Milwaukee Mia - Day 2: “Steele Scampering”
It's protocol that a gathering of women requires a chick flick so we consulted our local listings and determined that "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" was playing at the neighborhood cinema. Mmmm…A half-naked Matthew McConaughey! Not as good as a nekked Pierce, Xenos groaned and not in a good way. We were glad we only paid matinee price for this obvious mistake in casting. We arrived just in time for the previews, only to be shushed by the only other person in the theater at the time. While a few other people did show up later, we thought it was incredible that we were shushed before the film even started! The movie was cute and Michael Douglas was quite funny as Matthew McConaughey's ghostly uncle. He offered this piece of advice to his nephew: "Women like to be screwed; they just don't like to be screwed over." The general consensus was that this advice is spot-on.
We had to wait for Xenos to circle the parking lot 3 times before she was able to line the van up at the curb but once that was done we hopped on board for the closest sandwich shop, Quizno's. There Auburn ordered a ham and turkey torpedo; she thought it would come with sailors on the side along with the condiments, but it did not. The manager wore a cowboy hat and was most thoughtful in checking on us early and often. As we'd already seen biker dudes around town we kept an eye out for policemen and construction workers, but did not see any. (We think they were all down at Pridefest.) Xenos was first to order and pigged out on a "Mount and Dew me" and a small bag of Cheetoes. Amazingly she was the last to finish her "meal" but only with help.
After a quick trip to the hardware store for a grappling hook, fuzzy green windup toys and a nondescript station wagon, we heard a Moose call. Luckily, it was Judith. After giving her the lowdown – and some of us were lower than others – we experienced the highlight of our day. A very dapper-sounding Michael Gleason – MICHAEL FREAKIN’ GLEASON!!! – said, “Hello, ladies…And Auburn.” To which we squealed like little schoolgirls and giggled like Cindi Sikes from “Steele Trap”. And true to form, Xenos wet her pants. Unfortunately, though, there is no news about the book. Darn it. A quick vote showed MG besting Steele for “Best Guest Star in a Reality / Comedy Situation. So next time SZ and PB, if you want the valuable prize (a Subway Coupon), phone in!
Our next stop was a play in downtown Milwaukee. Thank goodness Xenos had recently renewed her certification at the Laura Holt Driving Academy, or we would have been late. She drove so well that Joystick only tipped over once! Fortunately we did make it in time for the matinee of "Shear Madness", a murder mystery set in a hair salon. It's an interactive play and in parts of it the lead investigator allows the audience to ask questions of him and the suspects. The audience then gets to vote on whodunit! Shear Chaos! Shearly Amaaaazing and Fabulous! We'd recommend it to anyone - though that evening's performance was the final show in Milwaukee – through no fault of our own.
The cast was costumed in a “tip of the cap” salute to the mystery board game Clue. Tony, the salon owner, scampered and pranced in lavender. Mr. Lawrence, an amorous antique dealer was righteously indignant in green. Mrs. Schubert was a malaprop of scarlet sarcasm. Barbara DeMarco, a vision in Brosnan Blue, channels Roxy Tyler from “My Fair Steele” in her high-heel stomping elegance. She is eventually unmasked as the murderess by a K-Mart t-shirted Laura Holt in the audience.
Our final stop of the night was The Safe House which is a spy-themed restaurant. We had to wait outside the restaurant until it was time for our reservations. While there, Auburn began hitting on the biggest, tallest, drunkest member of the bike gang in the back alley (while slapping and assessing his “Prime Beef Backside” ala Mildred in “My Fair Steele”) that was parked right by the door. His jersey indicated he represented Big Willy Billiards and judging by the tight bike shorts, that may have been correct. (What, you thought it was a motorcycle gang?!) Shirley “Jillybean” Feeney and Laverne “Joystick” DeFazio got to sneak in the back way while the rest of us had to come in through the front door. Since only Xenos knew the password - and wasn't willing to share (a first in Xenos history) - Auburn, Mickey and Mrs. Babish were forced to re-enact fight scenes from "Charlie's Angels" (assuming their customary pose pre- and post-fight, of course). Once allowed inside we realized the whole thing was on a live feed into the restaurant where everyone could see the hazing we had to undertake to be allowed inside! After shaking out our over-styled hair needlessly and undoing one more button on our shirts, we placed our food orders and set out in search of the "facilities". It was there that Auburn set off the in-house alarm for accosting a naked Burt Reynolds in the ladies room!
While touring the restaurant, we noticed a couple of different PB posters on the wall. Xenos made it her mission to take one of the posters home with her. When the manager, Brian, came over to inquire about our meal, Auburn offered up Xenos’s “services” in trade. She not only agreed but quickly upped the ante as Brian had a bit of Irish about him. In the end a Humphrey Bogart poster ended up in the van with us. Not sure what that says about her negotiating skills or Xenos’ privately persuasive talents.
To lose any lingering spies wanting our tails,
we headed just down the street from The Safe House to The Riverwalk. We found the life-sized statue of Fonzie giving his famous thumbs-up pose. So naturally we accosted and molested him, giving him what came to be known as "the Cunninghand". Remarkably the Harley (motorcycle this time, really) gang members after us followed suit.
Later that night, we found ourselves in Jillybean's and Joystick's room where a cask of Steele Wine was shared. It had an excellent body (we ALL have a body, Wilson!) and was verrrry heady. We played Steele trivia and that segued into ... well, never mind really as the wine contained the famous Vow of St. Costello.
We had to wait for Xenos to circle the parking lot 3 times before she was able to line the van up at the curb but once that was done we hopped on board for the closest sandwich shop, Quizno's. There Auburn ordered a ham and turkey torpedo; she thought it would come with sailors on the side along with the condiments, but it did not. The manager wore a cowboy hat and was most thoughtful in checking on us early and often. As we'd already seen biker dudes around town we kept an eye out for policemen and construction workers, but did not see any. (We think they were all down at Pridefest.) Xenos was first to order and pigged out on a "Mount and Dew me" and a small bag of Cheetoes. Amazingly she was the last to finish her "meal" but only with help.
After a quick trip to the hardware store for a grappling hook, fuzzy green windup toys and a nondescript station wagon, we heard a Moose call. Luckily, it was Judith. After giving her the lowdown – and some of us were lower than others – we experienced the highlight of our day. A very dapper-sounding Michael Gleason – MICHAEL FREAKIN’ GLEASON!!! – said, “Hello, ladies…And Auburn.” To which we squealed like little schoolgirls and giggled like Cindi Sikes from “Steele Trap”. And true to form, Xenos wet her pants. Unfortunately, though, there is no news about the book. Darn it. A quick vote showed MG besting Steele for “Best Guest Star in a Reality / Comedy Situation. So next time SZ and PB, if you want the valuable prize (a Subway Coupon), phone in!
Our next stop was a play in downtown Milwaukee. Thank goodness Xenos had recently renewed her certification at the Laura Holt Driving Academy, or we would have been late. She drove so well that Joystick only tipped over once! Fortunately we did make it in time for the matinee of "Shear Madness", a murder mystery set in a hair salon. It's an interactive play and in parts of it the lead investigator allows the audience to ask questions of him and the suspects. The audience then gets to vote on whodunit! Shear Chaos! Shearly Amaaaazing and Fabulous! We'd recommend it to anyone - though that evening's performance was the final show in Milwaukee – through no fault of our own.
The cast was costumed in a “tip of the cap” salute to the mystery board game Clue. Tony, the salon owner, scampered and pranced in lavender. Mr. Lawrence, an amorous antique dealer was righteously indignant in green. Mrs. Schubert was a malaprop of scarlet sarcasm. Barbara DeMarco, a vision in Brosnan Blue, channels Roxy Tyler from “My Fair Steele” in her high-heel stomping elegance. She is eventually unmasked as the murderess by a K-Mart t-shirted Laura Holt in the audience.
Our final stop of the night was The Safe House which is a spy-themed restaurant. We had to wait outside the restaurant until it was time for our reservations. While there, Auburn began hitting on the biggest, tallest, drunkest member of the bike gang in the back alley (while slapping and assessing his “Prime Beef Backside” ala Mildred in “My Fair Steele”) that was parked right by the door. His jersey indicated he represented Big Willy Billiards and judging by the tight bike shorts, that may have been correct. (What, you thought it was a motorcycle gang?!) Shirley “Jillybean” Feeney and Laverne “Joystick” DeFazio got to sneak in the back way while the rest of us had to come in through the front door. Since only Xenos knew the password - and wasn't willing to share (a first in Xenos history) - Auburn, Mickey and Mrs. Babish were forced to re-enact fight scenes from "Charlie's Angels" (assuming their customary pose pre- and post-fight, of course). Once allowed inside we realized the whole thing was on a live feed into the restaurant where everyone could see the hazing we had to undertake to be allowed inside! After shaking out our over-styled hair needlessly and undoing one more button on our shirts, we placed our food orders and set out in search of the "facilities". It was there that Auburn set off the in-house alarm for accosting a naked Burt Reynolds in the ladies room!
While touring the restaurant, we noticed a couple of different PB posters on the wall. Xenos made it her mission to take one of the posters home with her. When the manager, Brian, came over to inquire about our meal, Auburn offered up Xenos’s “services” in trade. She not only agreed but quickly upped the ante as Brian had a bit of Irish about him. In the end a Humphrey Bogart poster ended up in the van with us. Not sure what that says about her negotiating skills or Xenos’ privately persuasive talents.
To lose any lingering spies wanting our tails,
we headed just down the street from The Safe House to The Riverwalk. We found the life-sized statue of Fonzie giving his famous thumbs-up pose. So naturally we accosted and molested him, giving him what came to be known as "the Cunninghand". Remarkably the Harley (motorcycle this time, really) gang members after us followed suit.Later that night, we found ourselves in Jillybean's and Joystick's room where a cask of Steele Wine was shared. It had an excellent body (we ALL have a body, Wilson!) and was verrrry heady. We played Steele trivia and that segued into ... well, never mind really as the wine contained the famous Vow of St. Costello.
Saturday, June 13, 2009
A Palermo Family Reunion in Milwaukee
Mickey arrived in Chicago and was picked up by the Super Snail Shuttle. Less miles, same time as last weekend. Not Auburn's fault but the traffic was terrible. If only law enforcement would allow her to drive on the side of the road we'd have arrived in Milwaukee much faster.
Arrived at the hotel just as our Palermo Cousins (Laverne & Shirley - aka Joystick & Jillybean) and their faithful sidekick Mrs. Babish were checking in. (Limo service courtesy of Xenos.) Got situated in our rooms and headed for Comedy Sportz where we had dinner before the show. Our waiter was Zakry who immediately declared he was "king of the comedy club". Fortunately he has use of both hands. He ably demonstrated this by serving Auburn a drink and lifting her wallet.
In a typical "all things are related to Steele" episode, during one of the comedy games they asked people for their initials. The first person they asked (NOT one of our group) said her initials were R.S.! The last person they asked was Auburn who said her initials were H.O. It should be noted that she was wearing her "Just say Ho!" t-shirt at the time. That got an extra laugh from our group since we knew that wasn't the correct answer. By intermission our cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. We had a great time and highly recommend it to anyone.
Arrived at the hotel just as our Palermo Cousins (Laverne & Shirley - aka Joystick & Jillybean) and their faithful sidekick Mrs. Babish were checking in. (Limo service courtesy of Xenos.) Got situated in our rooms and headed for Comedy Sportz where we had dinner before the show. Our waiter was Zakry who immediately declared he was "king of the comedy club". Fortunately he has use of both hands. He ably demonstrated this by serving Auburn a drink and lifting her wallet.
In a typical "all things are related to Steele" episode, during one of the comedy games they asked people for their initials. The first person they asked (NOT one of our group) said her initials were R.S.! The last person they asked was Auburn who said her initials were H.O. It should be noted that she was wearing her "Just say Ho!" t-shirt at the time. That got an extra laugh from our group since we knew that wasn't the correct answer. By intermission our cheeks hurt from laughing so hard. We had a great time and highly recommend it to anyone.
Monday, June 8, 2009
Catskills Doesn’t Mean Talented Cats
(A collaborative entry from Mickey & Auburn)
The phone rings. Steph has a play in Ellenville. Ellenville? Where the heck is that? Near DeNada? Will we see the famous horse ride through the streets? Nope, Ellenville is on other side of the continent. Plans are made. Some plans are sadly canceled when it appears the flight path includes 6 layovers and the closest airport is STILL 5 hours away. So remote, it should be named Canada, but only in the nicest way.
The secondary travel plan was formulated via the Silver Bullet Super-Speedy White-Knuckles Shuttle. An un-planned detour through Auburn, Indiana at the Auburn Cord Dusenburg Museum allowed Auburn (the driver) to pimp out the ride for the remainder of the trip. The pit stop proved timely as she made it to the Cleveland airport just 10 minutes before Mickey exited the terminal. We are checking with the Guinness
people, but this could be a record! Auburn credited the ghost of Fred’s past with her professional timeliness. Once Mickey was safely ensconced in the passenger seat Mini-Purl was relegated to the back seat. Mini-Purl fancies herself quite the GPS navigator, GPS standing for Great Puppet Seatmate. Not content to relinquish the giving of advice, she was shouting suggestions to Mr. Steele and Laura, who also came along for the ride, but had retired to a carry-on luggage compartment for a little privacy. Talk about your baggage handling! Auburn and Mickey discreetly raised the privacy screen to quiet the enthusiastic noise emanating from the cargo area.
One M-P quieted down (wonder if the foa gag had anything to do with it?), we made our way to beautiful and lovely Mill Hall, PA to a top-flight hotel with free continental breakfast. However, the wi-fi sucked. We cleaned off the silver bullet's grill due to the heavy damage from the 6 deer we hit on the 4-hour trip from the airport, but we had fresh venison for supper. Your venison jerky will be on its way to you shortly via FredEx. The next morning we were up early (why? odd, when our internal clocks were an hour behind!) and began making our way toward Ellenville. After missing exit 1 in NY State and having to turn around at exit 2 which is actually mile marker #14, we turned off the interstate for CR80 and US 209 - all 400 miles of it - to Wurtsboro where we found the Motel del Amor awaiting us. Think knotty pine instead of mosquito netting with no hairdryer, no iron, no cups, the handyman (Juan) had to verify that there were towels - which there were not. He returned with a cloth like sandpaper in various sizes. Wonderful exfoliating device! The wi-fi worked at that point so we could send out brief messages (of more than 8 characters for you Bones fans). By this time we were ravenous, so we made the 12 mile drive to historic and scenic Ellenville, where we picked up our tickets for the evening's sold-out performance of "The Price" starring Stephanie Zimbalist and Orson Bean.
We had lunch at a local deli where it took 3 hours to be served our Italian sub and Philly cheese steak. We then took the walking tour of Ellenville, which, remarkably, consumed another 7 minutes of our day. The Catskills are a lot like Wisconsin, only with taller mountains. This would have been a lot more scenic in the fall. Having seen all the sites, (and not having brought golf clubs) we drove back to the motel where we read, battled with spotty wi-fi service and napped, you decide who did which. Awaking just in time we got ready for our big night out and drove back to Ellenville, further reducing the local deer population by two. As we approached the restaurant, we found Pretty in Pink, who is actually now Ravishing Red, & Co. coming from the other direction. Here we learned the restaurant was completely booked. As we had no reservations, we all sat at the bar and got reacquainted with Red and intimately acquainted with Kevin, the cute bartender! Oh-Ho-Ho-Yeh-Heh-Hes!
After a delicious dinner of a sweaty tennis shoe insole colloquially known as a crumbled bleu cheese, pear and chicken salad (billed as grilled hormone-free-range chicken--- It was very good!), we went next door and thoroughly enjoyed the show. Orson was delightfully humorous as a 90-year-old furniture appraiser and Stephanie gave a compelling performance as the wife of a policeman. Her new haircut looks fantastic and she's looking sleek and toned. Once again, a reason to be envious of the Zimbalist physique! We stayed after the show chatting with the actors and catching up with Steph for hours, but in Ellenville that equates to about 10 minutes. Then it was back to the Motel del Amor (no romantic suites for us, just so ya know, it's where we could find a room). And it was bedtime complete with horror movie squeaky armoire door to haunt us through the night. Mickey eventually got used to the alternating sudden screaming snoring cycle and slept in 20 minute increments.
Sunday found us up early again, the bi-polar scalding/freezing, smaller than a Twinkie box shower was so small we had to use Vaseline to slide in & out between its sliding doors. However the water pressure was excellent! So between the Vaseline, high powered jet massager and the sandpaper towels, it was decided that we should add spa to the Motel del Amor title. With FredEx like efficiency, we’re out of the motel before 8 am and on the road again. We stopped in Scranton to get some breakfast, then had to backtrack 3 miles and blow a cleverly hidden red light before we could get on the interstate again! Never any good reasons to linger at the lights! One last stop for gas and then it was on to Cleveland well ahead of schedule. After a late but leisurely lunch, Auburn dropped Mickey off at the airport and she and her li'l silver jet took off for other parts of the Midwest. Mickey tried to get bumped (the voucher would have been enough for another flight!) but alas, nobody was desperate enough to get to her hometown tonight so she made it home as originally scheduled. Auburn was home roughly an hour later in time to release Kevin the hot bartender from the trunk. What??? Everyone brings home souvenirs from vacations! This has been so much fun we're doing it again next week - but with a MUCH shorter drive!
Skeeziks, it just wasn't the same without you!
The phone rings. Steph has a play in Ellenville. Ellenville? Where the heck is that? Near DeNada? Will we see the famous horse ride through the streets? Nope, Ellenville is on other side of the continent. Plans are made. Some plans are sadly canceled when it appears the flight path includes 6 layovers and the closest airport is STILL 5 hours away. So remote, it should be named Canada, but only in the nicest way.
The secondary travel plan was formulated via the Silver Bullet Super-Speedy White-Knuckles Shuttle. An un-planned detour through Auburn, Indiana at the Auburn Cord Dusenburg Museum allowed Auburn (the driver) to pimp out the ride for the remainder of the trip. The pit stop proved timely as she made it to the Cleveland airport just 10 minutes before Mickey exited the terminal. We are checking with the Guinness
people, but this could be a record! Auburn credited the ghost of Fred’s past with her professional timeliness. Once Mickey was safely ensconced in the passenger seat Mini-Purl was relegated to the back seat. Mini-Purl fancies herself quite the GPS navigator, GPS standing for Great Puppet Seatmate. Not content to relinquish the giving of advice, she was shouting suggestions to Mr. Steele and Laura, who also came along for the ride, but had retired to a carry-on luggage compartment for a little privacy. Talk about your baggage handling! Auburn and Mickey discreetly raised the privacy screen to quiet the enthusiastic noise emanating from the cargo area.One M-P quieted down (wonder if the foa gag had anything to do with it?), we made our way to beautiful and lovely Mill Hall, PA to a top-flight hotel with free continental breakfast. However, the wi-fi sucked. We cleaned off the silver bullet's grill due to the heavy damage from the 6 deer we hit on the 4-hour trip from the airport, but we had fresh venison for supper. Your venison jerky will be on its way to you shortly via FredEx. The next morning we were up early (why? odd, when our internal clocks were an hour behind!) and began making our way toward Ellenville. After missing exit 1 in NY State and having to turn around at exit 2 which is actually mile marker #14, we turned off the interstate for CR80 and US 209 - all 400 miles of it - to Wurtsboro where we found the Motel del Amor awaiting us. Think knotty pine instead of mosquito netting with no hairdryer, no iron, no cups, the handyman (Juan) had to verify that there were towels - which there were not. He returned with a cloth like sandpaper in various sizes. Wonderful exfoliating device! The wi-fi worked at that point so we could send out brief messages (of more than 8 characters for you Bones fans). By this time we were ravenous, so we made the 12 mile drive to historic and scenic Ellenville, where we picked up our tickets for the evening's sold-out performance of "The Price" starring Stephanie Zimbalist and Orson Bean.
We had lunch at a local deli where it took 3 hours to be served our Italian sub and Philly cheese steak. We then took the walking tour of Ellenville, which, remarkably, consumed another 7 minutes of our day. The Catskills are a lot like Wisconsin, only with taller mountains. This would have been a lot more scenic in the fall. Having seen all the sites, (and not having brought golf clubs) we drove back to the motel where we read, battled with spotty wi-fi service and napped, you decide who did which. Awaking just in time we got ready for our big night out and drove back to Ellenville, further reducing the local deer population by two. As we approached the restaurant, we found Pretty in Pink, who is actually now Ravishing Red, & Co. coming from the other direction. Here we learned the restaurant was completely booked. As we had no reservations, we all sat at the bar and got reacquainted with Red and intimately acquainted with Kevin, the cute bartender! Oh-Ho-Ho-Yeh-Heh-Hes!
After a delicious dinner of a sweaty tennis shoe insole colloquially known as a crumbled bleu cheese, pear and chicken salad (billed as grilled hormone-free-range chicken--- It was very good!), we went next door and thoroughly enjoyed the show. Orson was delightfully humorous as a 90-year-old furniture appraiser and Stephanie gave a compelling performance as the wife of a policeman. Her new haircut looks fantastic and she's looking sleek and toned. Once again, a reason to be envious of the Zimbalist physique! We stayed after the show chatting with the actors and catching up with Steph for hours, but in Ellenville that equates to about 10 minutes. Then it was back to the Motel del Amor (no romantic suites for us, just so ya know, it's where we could find a room). And it was bedtime complete with horror movie squeaky armoire door to haunt us through the night. Mickey eventually got used to the alternating sudden screaming snoring cycle and slept in 20 minute increments.
Sunday found us up early again, the bi-polar scalding/freezing, smaller than a Twinkie box shower was so small we had to use Vaseline to slide in & out between its sliding doors. However the water pressure was excellent! So between the Vaseline, high powered jet massager and the sandpaper towels, it was decided that we should add spa to the Motel del Amor title. With FredEx like efficiency, we’re out of the motel before 8 am and on the road again. We stopped in Scranton to get some breakfast, then had to backtrack 3 miles and blow a cleverly hidden red light before we could get on the interstate again! Never any good reasons to linger at the lights! One last stop for gas and then it was on to Cleveland well ahead of schedule. After a late but leisurely lunch, Auburn dropped Mickey off at the airport and she and her li'l silver jet took off for other parts of the Midwest. Mickey tried to get bumped (the voucher would have been enough for another flight!) but alas, nobody was desperate enough to get to her hometown tonight so she made it home as originally scheduled. Auburn was home roughly an hour later in time to release Kevin the hot bartender from the trunk. What??? Everyone brings home souvenirs from vacations! This has been so much fun we're doing it again next week - but with a MUCH shorter drive!
Skeeziks, it just wasn't the same without you!
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